Some Kinda Change

Showing my kids I wasn't a complete clutz in Yoga class!

Have you ever in your life at any time felt the life changing transformation that is occurring? Have you ever felt that it’s going on right in front of your very eyes? I’ve been praying over and working in numerous life areas to make changes, have God show me the changes I need to make, ask God to show me the opportunities I am to pursue, and help me increase my strength and stamina to be the leader he’s raising me up to be. And I kid you not, it’s as if I can feel and daily I experience the very transformations as they are happening. It’s just a sense of suddenly having my eyes wide open.

I’ve been really focusing on getting into shape to be a stellar leader in the Kingdom of God. Not to earn glory or praise for myself. Of course, feeling accomplished and in shape, and good about the way I am treating myself does help my stamina and self confidence some. But truly, it’s something I want to do to bring glory to God with my life and with the things I am to do. I know He doesn’t need any glory from me. He is worthy of glory and praise despite us. He is God after all and without Him I’d be nothing more than worm dust.

It started a few months ago as I drug my feet while waiting for a response that didn’t turn out quite the way I had expected. And in that short period, I saw myself beginning to behave differently. I had my goals. And I was truthfully more than ready to go and start working on them. During this initial phase, I wore my hair curly and in it’s natural state a few times. This is something I’d never do, because it’s too uncomfortable and brings back haunting memories of being teased, picked on, and told I was very ugly by someone close to me. I’ve worn it curly a few times since, and I’m in the painful process of growing it out so I can wear it this way most of the time and not straighten it so much. Why? I want to be the woman as God created me to be. Not what the world makes me feel comfortable being.

Then I wanted to become a stronger leader to run the race in the Kingdom of God that God has gifted me and called me to do. I want to be a leader of strength, stamina, and endurance to raise up more leaders and not only get to the finish line, but CROSS the dang thing and keep on going if needed!  I started by changing a few more things.

I changed my diet to include whole foods and eliminate almost all prepared, boxed, and processed foods. It’s not a complete elimination of them, but most of my meals except 3 or 4 a week sure are. I also started exercising. And I decided to do many things: Weight lifting, Cardio, and yoga to build endurance and increase my flexibility along with reducing stress. I’ve got to be honest. Yoga was a lot more than I bargained for! Youch! It has truly been something I enjoy and along with all of these changes, I’ve quickly lost 10 lbs! I am back in a size 4 after gaining 25 lbs. of stop smoking weight 2.5 years ago. Praise God! It’s just disappearing and my discipline is definitely being strengthened during this time. It’s really not as hard as I had experienced before, and I feel so blessed!

I find that I go to the gym not out of obligation or change my diet out of guilt, but I do it because of what it means to me every day. It means a fresh start. I means a healthier me. It means I have more energy. It means I just plain ‘ol feel GREAT about myself. And I know that somewhere in all of this, God is again transforming me. For what? I hope it’s that husband I keep praying for someday!

Say it with me…

HUBBA, HUBBA! Ok, so I can truly only imagine, but like everything God does in my life, it really is perfect for me and most often exceeds my expectations. I am more than hopeful. And this life change, this transformation is truly incredible. Tonight while in the “Advanced Yoga for Athletes To Build Endurance”, I thought I might not make it through the class as this was my very first Yoga class ever. But, I stayed. I laughed as I remembered how I never seem to make it into the “beginner” classes and always end up in the deep end of something having to learn to swim before I sink. And maybe that’s just how God designed me. But nonetheless, it just seems to work out. Tonight as the instructor turned the thermostat up to a nice workout temperature of 85 degrees, I noticed the sweat starting to pour off of me as we intensified the workout. I grabbed my pony tail holder and hair barrette without thinking and swept my hair up off my face and pinned it back.

There I stood in public for the first time ever with no hair in my face. I’d always hidden behind bangs and fringe. And lots of it! But not so. In fact, when I got home tonight, I swept it back up again and laughed as I felt so free walking about my house. No more hair in my face. No more a lot of things. As I thought about all of the changes, the freedom in this transformation that has been taking place the past few months, and the freedom I felt as I stop seeking the approval of others for so many stupid little things, I am finally getting comfortable with being me.

A beautiful and freeing change. Thank you, God. I get to be who I am in your image. That is the desire of my heart.

And that is some kinda change.

Create Goals or A Grocery List?

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I was having my “think drink” and reflecting upon the progress I’ve made on several of my goals when suddenly I wrote at the top corner of my notebook paper a few items I needed to grab at the grocery store today. I wrote:

• Lettuce
• Ketchup
• Buns
• Pickles

Yes, we’re having hamburgers for dinner. That’s our goal. And in order for the goal to become a dinner time success, I have to do a few things. I need to run at some point today to the store to make sure I have everything necessary for our burgers. Otherwise, we’ll be missing the things we need to make this happen.

As I made the list, I started reflecting upon goal setting. In this instance, we have a clear goal. We’re having Hamburgers for dinner! But in order to have those burgers  and reach this goal, I had to create a plan. I will have to stop by the store, because we need things to make it happen. There is an action required. We  have the clear cut goal as simple as it may seem-burgers for dinner. And we also have the action plan we need to make sure it happens-run to the grocery store.

Yet how many times do we create goals like they’re simply a grocery list of everything we think we’ll need for a span of time without knowing what we’re going to use the items for?  Without a clear goal, our list could have looked like:

• Lettuce
• Toilet Paper
• Pickles
• Spaghetti
• Ramen Noodle soup
• Flour
• Ice cream
• Milk
• Twinkies

The list could have gone on and on forever. We might have an impressive amount of things we wanted or thought we needed on it, yet when push comes to shove later in the day, we still won’t have everything we need to reach our goal: Hamburgers! On the other hand, there are times when we simply write down our specific goals, and we fail to plan what we need to do to obtain our ingredients. If we don’t know what it’s going to take to reach the goal, it’s left  looking like a grocery list in itself. And we can’t reach the goal without planning the details and direction. Our list needs to include important details.

If we simply list our goals without action steps and a plan, we’ll simply see the resemblance of a grocery list:

Goal: Buy a house

Goal: Get a better job

Goal: Earn a degree

But when it comes to setting goals, the grocery list doesn’t tell us how to get these things much less which store we’ll have to visit to find them. Through better planning we can have a clearer picture and list that provides details. We’ll have a list of goals and the action steps we need to take to reach them.

Goal: Buy a house

• Open savings
• Pay off bills
• Visit bank
• Contact Realtor
• Get credit score
• Apply for loan
• Clean out stuff and have garage sale

Get a better job

• Update resume
• Update cover letters
• Obtain letters of recommendation
• Iron Suit/Interview clothes
• Get haircut
• Network
• Attend job fairs

Earn a degree

• Talk to people in the field of major
• Contact schools
• Meet with guidance counselors
• Take entrance exams

It’s important to remember that we can’t just create a grocery list of things we want to accomplish and expect to reach these goals without having a plan to get to them successfully. Unless we simply want something sweet in life and getting a Twinkie is our goal, it’s not likely we’ll be able to put that on a list and simply walk to the store to get it. That’s probably the only time we can just walk into a store, buy what we want, and have our cake and eat it too, right then and right there. Our goals can’t be bought in most cases and we have to put in a lot of work to accomplish them. Only when we have a plan do we get to have our cake…and eat it too.

When we create goals, it has to be more than a list.

Our list of goals needs a plan.

 

Why Judging A Single Parent Sucks

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I have been a single mother for the better part of 15 years now. And there’s one thing I learned real quick. Single mothers and their family unit get judged for being just that. Single mothers. In many instances which still occur in my life today regardless of how old my kiddos get and despite the fact that they are now teens, I am judged incorrectly. And I get more than angered when my kids are seen as a liability, especially because I am a single parent.

• My kids are not unruly.
• My kids are not allowed to run our household.
• They have responsibilities and chores.
• They have boundaries. (More boundaries than most other kids we know.)
• They are not allowed to many of the things that “everyone else is allowed to” do regardless of how many kids are doing it.
• They are disciplined…and the discipline they receive is attached to a lesson, a consequence, and time for us to bond and strengthen our already strong relationships.
• There is follow-through for the actions of my kids.

In addition:

• We are extremely close.
• We hold family meetings to keep us on track, have discussions, work through any issues that might arise, and teach good conflict resolution skills that my kids can use their entire lives!
• We work together as a family, and I instill a strong work ethic, morals, and Christian values in them daily.
• We play hard as a family, too!
• We are not only a Christian family, but I strive every day to be a living and walking testimony to these kiddos and not hide my faith from them, but model it for them to make sure they don’t just do as I say, but do as I do (even if not now in their lives, but later…they will RETURN to their roots).
• We have a BOAT load of fun.
• They are considerate, kind, and think of others.
• They know the value of money,  a job well done and earn their own money by working odd jobs for family and friends.
• They’ve been taught to work hard, respect what they have, leave things better than they found them-every time.
• They’ve been taught that love EQUALS  respect in so many aspects.
• They’ve been taught not to judge, and to be proud of who they are and what they stand for regardless of what the “world” thinks. They matter!
• They donate their own money after working to earn it on their own merits by doing chores. They DO know what it is like to have little and nothing and they still choose to give out of the little they worked so hard for.
• They make decisions to stay away from others who are up to no good. And not only that, they TALK to me about WHY they made the decisions to abstain, remove themselves from, or avoid people and situations that have not been good for them.
• They know they can, and they do talk to me about everything. I want them to communicate with me, so I encourage it!

Yet, as a single mother, my kids and I are so often seen as liabilities in many types of situations and by different types of people.

WHY??? Being a single mother, I can tell you that when it happens, there are only two words that describe it precisely:

It sucks.

I think we should remind ourselves to be careful to not judge people based on our own preconceived ideas or unknown facts. Have we ever walked in these shoes? Do we really know the person or people or are we simply letting our minds fill in all the unknown blanks? Are we making  inaccurate determinations without having any substantial relationships built to KNOW the people we are judging and basing decisions off of?  We imagine and then judge accordingly with many missing pieces of information. And it is not an accurate reflection of a family at all or our abilities as single parents.

Tonight my son just reminded me of WHY I get hurt when people judge me and my family without knowing all the facts.

Here’s just one example, and I have at least 1,000 more for each of my children.

I was straightening up the garage where some aluminum cans we were collecting to recycle had fallen over and spilled out of the trash bag onto the garage floor. As we were working, we noticed wasps and bees flying in and out of some of the soda cans, since there was the sweet sugary residue from the soda in some of them. I told my son if we waited until evening, they might settle down, and we could try to gather them up again and hopefully avoid being stung.

I started to grill our dinner and decided to grab the rake and just do it even though I have reactions to wasps that have prompted calls to 911 in the past. I didn’t want my kids to run the risk of getting stung, and I really thought I could do it without being stung if I worked carefully and quickly. I went down to the basement to throw a load of laundry in the washer before returning outside to take care of this pesky little task, when my 15 year old son pops inside, comes downstairs, and says, “Hey Mom. You don’t need to worry about getting the cans that were knocked over. I got them already. I didn’t want you to have to do it. And besides, I don’t want you to have $300,000 worth of hospital bills if you should get stung. That wouldn’t be good for you.”

I was not shocked at all, because this IS who my son is. But, I made sure I let him know how APPRECIATIVE I was to him for doing that and taking on that risk himself! I let out a huge, “Awwwww!” and complimented his responsible and mature behavior.

After all, WHY would I be shocked?

It is how I’ve raised them.

So stop judging single mothers. Get the facts and have a clue, because every time someone, anyone for that matter (I don’t care who it is) is misjudged, it hurts people. I honestly believe a good look at me is a pretty good indicator of how my kiddos have been raised. Are they perfect? Nope. And neither am I. But that doesn’t make us bad people or liabilities.

Are You Willing To Risk Your Life?

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Many things lately have me pondering this simple question: Are you willing to risk your life? Funny thing is that for such a simple question, I know there are no simple answers. Everyone’s risk level is different.

Everything we do in life has some sort of risk associated with it. There is nothing risk free. We have no guarantees. The only thing we are guaranteed in this world is that we are born and we die. And everything that happens after birth has risk tied to it. (I am not writing about guarantees from a faith-based perspective this time.)

We live in a world where sickness, disease, crime, accidents, divorce, bad relationships, hurt, and deceit happen all the time. And to top it all off, people are mainly self absorbed, expect constant entertainment, and just walk away from things when they get difficult or decide there are just too many unknowns before ever discovering what the potential really was. We don’t live in a world where everything that happens is guaranteed to have a positive or happy outcome. If we did, honestly life would simply be boring. After all, the challenge of working at something to make it successful grows and matures us in our life areas. Now, I’m not saying that we want our lives filled with unnecessary drama and constant emergencies that wear us out and stress us beyond our capacity to be healthy.

So what do we do? More often than not, I see individuals who desire things in their lives take what has happened to them and build GIANT walls around themselves to keep ALL forms of harm in that life area away from themselves. They don’t want the risk, and they run from it before there is ever a chance to explore it. They don’t want to get hurt. They want a neat little guarantee with a seal of approval that says, “100% money-back guarantee, lifetime warranty, and we’ll actually send you TWO if you order right now!” Life doesn’t work this way. And that’s why you find many of those things with unrealistic guarantees sitting in garage sales. Even with the promise, they were still not all they promised to be.

What happens with people is that they build these walls so high, that when they do find what they want in their life, the person or people who are there with them in those moments are having to climb so unrealistically high and work so hard to get around the barriers built to where they can be with the person, that they wear out and don’t ever have a snowball’s chance of getting through. And this means the person who so desires the very thing that sits right in front of them can’t even begin to receive it. They in turn build higher walls, reinforce them to become tougher and thicker, and the cycle continues! It’s the equivalent of staying trapped in one’s own prison. The risk outside the walls they have built themselves is much greater than simply staying trapped. Being trapped equals safety. And when this happens and becomes a cycle-a way of life, living ceases to exist. We may have a life yet. We’re still breathing. But we are not living, truly living with passion and gusto and with great enjoyment.

I wonder how many of us at times have forgotten HOW to live. We have a life. But we are not just here to sit and breath in and out. That just doesn’t constitute living. It means we are only existing. But there is a huge difference between existing or surviving and thriving with a life that is alive and well. We were given a life to LIVE! That means we have to take risks! And taking risks means enjoying the best things life has to offer. And while we’re enjoying those things we will encounter risks. Risks are to be overcome. That makes us stronger people and equips us for enduring to not only have the things we truly want in our lives, but keep them for the long haul.

Take a look at some of the things people want in their lives and the risks associated with them:

• Relationships-RISK (broken heart, material things defining the outcomes, uncertainties, etc.)
• Marriage-RISK-(sharing, arguing from time to time, making sacrifices, adultery, death of spouse, etc.)
• Having kids-RISK-(kids get sick, accidents happen, kids get kidnapped, pedophiles, death of child, sickness, etc.)
• Owning a dog-RISK-(could bite someone or get lost, get fleas, run away, eat a couch, get hit by a car, etc.)
• Buying a car-RISK-(could break down, be part of a recall, get scratched in a parking lot, destroyed in an accident, stolen, etc.)
• Owning a home-RISK (appliances can break, a job may be lost with a mortgage due, hail could damage the roof, always something to fix or do, etc.)
• Eating out-(could get food poisoning, bad service, could choke on food, etc.)

There are many risks with everything, and if we wanted to avoid getting hurt or having bad things happen to us, we’d have to stay inside and never go out. Only there’s a problem with that. There are just as many hazards by staying cooped up and isolated as there are outside the safety of giving up. Of course there are the things we can think of right away-falling down stairs, cutting ourselves while cooking, etc. But what about the physical and emotional hazards we bring to ourselves if we keep building those walls around our emotions and lives that keep us from truly living a full life? Those are more dangerous to our well-being than the outside factors. Those are the things that carry the most risk to our lives.

My point with this post is this: To live you must risk something. Everything in life is an unknown (with the exception of faith, and that is not what I am writing about this time). But it doesn’t mean that we need to stop living in order to prevent things from happening to us that we are unsure or scared of. LIFE IS AN ADVENTURE. Just think back to when we were kids. Yes, we fell off of the bike umpteen million times. But we got right back on and had the summer of a lifetime with no regrets. We lived on purpose, took risks, and grew along the way. And the only time we ever stayed safely inside was likely when we were in trouble for living a little too much!;)

Life is not about sitting in the safety of a self built shelter because we’re scared to embrace what we want in our lives. It’s about being bold enough to risk using your life to live, love, be, see, do, experience, and do it all over again each day. The biggest risk in life should be not doing it! After all, who wants to look back and have nothing but what if’s?  Be willing to risk your life. Risk it for what matters to you. And enjoy the ride. It’s worth the risk.

Pooped or Prioritized: It’s How You Manage Life

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For those of you familiar with my training and coaching, you know I teach life management, leadership development, and stress management skills for all kinds of people and organizations. For those unfamiliar with me, now you do, too.  Let me extend a warm welcome! Today I met  for a second time with someone I’ll introduce as “The Purple Hayes, “ and also known as Jeremy Hayes. He’s a personal trainer at our local Genesis Health Club who just loved kicking my tail and encouraging me to do more than just go the extra rep this morning. He helped me understand some things about my own shape and body function, and trust me, this stuff definitely applies to life management. So, now as a coach and professional trainer, my job is to relay the information straight to you!

I had never utilized a personal trainer before, and when I joined our local Genesis Health Club, I had “my idea” of what personal training was and is. But after our first few sessions, I realized I was completely wrong. It’s not just lifting weights. It’s correcting imbalances in my body to help me function optimally. That sounds so much like life management, except it specifically relates to the life area of Health.  And while working out today and learning from Jeremy about the imbalances I have specifically in the way my body operates, I realized just how important this area of my health is to my life management overall.

In my personal training sessions, Jeremy showed me that I have certain muscles in my shoulders, back, and pelvis that overcompensate for the weaker ones and cause many of my back issues and fatigue. But by isolating those weaker sets and working on them, I can retrain my body to function properly and optimally, therefore eliminating much of the fatigue I experience. That sounds SO much like life management.

Life Management is simply learning to focus on our priorities and isolate and clear out the junk that comes at us on a daily basis, so we can continue to live the life we want, reach our goals, and enjoy living for what is important to us. There are nine life areas: Spirituality, Career, Relationships, Finances, Health, Community, Self Improvement, Rest and Relaxation, and Entertainment. But in life, just as in our muscular health and abilities, the weaker areas tend to be worked on less often. We don’t like to manage or correct them as they may take much more work, so we might choose to let them go until we can’t go any longer.

Stress contributes to most of our health issues today. It causes us more visits to doctors, surgeries, and even causes us to consume more medications than we might need had we learned to stop trying to let everything in the world control our lives. And while we tend to overcompensate for weak areas in our lives, we can try to continue to live at warp speed and take on everything that comes our way (whether we really want or need to or not just to appease everyone around us), or we can simply accept that we might just have to live a life that merely includes making it through each week to simply collapse in front of the TV on the weekends and vegging out.

We have those options. But the truth is, we prove nothing when we try to do that. If we do prove anything by living a mismanaged life it’s only to our doctors. We might prove to our cardiologist that we couldn’t handle all the stress and fatigue our daily life placed on us. We might prove to our dietician that diabetes and weight gain are simply the symptoms and results of the stress that caused our years of overeating to cope with the insane demands of life. But are those really the types of things we’re living to prove? I know for most of us the answer is no.

No one is in perfect shape, not in health or their life. But the goal I learned about in my personal training sessions is not to simply work on one area: muscle mass, weight loss, cardio, etc. It is to work in all of them. And, it’s to strengthen the areas that are weaker. Why? Because by doing that, it increases our endurance. As Jeremy sized up my condition and how my body performs certain functions daily, I was easily able to understand why I find myself exhausted sometimes. I have certain muscle groups that are over-compensating   for groups that no longer function optimally in my back and shoulders. Overall it takes a toll on my spine, back, muscle groups, and eventually me. I find myself zapped! And in my weeks of trying to live the priorities that are my focus and very important and enjoyable for me, if I poop-out, I can’t enjoy what I really want to. I just  get too tired, and that is just NOT how I want to live! I’ve got too much life to enjoy out there!

As part of our life management, self-improvement, and health life areas, it is imperative that we work on our health. And by health, I do mean eating healthier, getting plenty of rest, de-stressing, but I also mean something that is probably more important that. I’m talking about creating a healthy endurance! If we can’t stay in the game (life) how do we expect to be able to manage it effectively or stay in the game long enough to even reach our goals and live with gusto as we focus on enjoying our priorities?

So what’s my recommendation?

As a professional life management coach, and leadership development trainer, I recommend first learning how to apply the life management skills I teach in my workshops by coming up with your personal life management plan by prioritizing your specific life areas. And then, I recommend you find some ways to work on your health to increase your endurance and ability to stay in the game to live the life you really want. As leaders, as people who raise families, as people who work, as people who are active in our communities, having the ability to manage life effectively and preventing burnout and fatigue should not be an option. It should become our way of life.

After all, no one’s goal is to be pooped-out all the time. So why live that way?

It’s time to become people who can not only focus on the finish line, but have what it takes to reach beyond it.

If you live in the Hutchinson or Wichita, KS areas and would like to learn more about Jeremy Hayes, he may be contacted at jhayes@genesishealthclubs.com. I highly recommend him if you’re looking to increase your stamina and health. He not only listens to your goals, but he knows about human muscle function and really focuses your training on what is best for you and your body. Just tell him Christine sent you!

And if you’d like to learn more about bringing affordableLife Management, Leadership Development, and

Move Into Action with Christine Pechstein

fun Stress Management workshops and classes to your organization or community, contact me (Christine Pechstein) at http://www.moveintoaction.com or moveintoaction@gmail.com. Creating leaders who can manage their lives and stay in the game depends on it!

A Loaf Of Luvin’

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Today in church our pastor started off with a thought, and it’s just stuck with me all day. It’s made me laugh, ponder, and think about numerous life areas. He was talking about showing our love after a song “Show Me Your Love”, and he spoke about how a man gives a woman gifts to get a reaction. I thought about it. And I contemplated why we do give those we love gifts. We do want to see how they react. Appreciative, excited, surprised, happy, or in some instances cold and non responsive.

Have we ever had that happen? We give a gift to someone and we had anticipated them loving it, but then we realize they really could’ve cared less? There was no appreciation, celebration or thankfulness? Of course we can relate this to our personal relationships and marriages. But where our pastor was going was this: God has given us gifts. He’s given us blessings. He’s given us salvation, freedom from the bondage of our past and forgiveness, yet how many of us have treated the gifts as though they didn’t matter? That just breaks my heart. As our pastor said this morning, God doesn’t force us to love him. He gave us the gift of love in so many blessings. But He leaves it up to use to show Him our reaction. Do we embrace it? Do we just ignore it? Do we not give it back? Do we just take it for granted? Is this how we love? Wow. It makes us think about love spiritually and within our relationships. What have our reactions been? And are we truly showing the reaction we want the giver of love (who ever it is) to see? If not, we’d better change it and quick, because love is on the line!

To live is to love. To live without love is like trying to breathe without air. That just came to me one day, and it’s something I love to reflect upon. We want our lives to change. We want to live with people who really care about us, fall in love, feel secure, grow and mature in love, but we treat love like it’s a loaf of bread. We let it sit out. We forget to tie the twisty-tie to keep it fresh. We forget how to enjoy it. After all, it’s just a loaf of bread, right? It is. Yet we forget it has many purposes, much like love does.

Love heals.

Love forgives.

Love embraces.

Love accepts.

Love gives.

Love appreciates.

And love bonds.

What do you want to be bonded to?

A loaf of stale bread? Or a life of love?

If we choose a life of love, we’d better get off our buns and show our gratitude and appreciation, and show our love in return. If we don’t, we’re just allowing it to go stale. It’s time to stop loafin’ and start lovin’.

If you want your life to change, embrace the love.

You’ve got some luvin’ to do.

Show me your heart:)

No Sweat On The Internet

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Ok, so the internet can be a great tool. But it can also be a scary source when it comes to our kids. And our teenagers are no exception. There are so many things to worry about them encountering. And that alone can cause a parent to sweat when thinking about all the online threats!

• Pornography (My biggest concern and watch for all three…boys AND girls.)
• Human Trafficking (My biggest concern for my daughters-it should be for you, too! Do you REALLY know that new friend?)
• Pedophiles (We all know how they work.)
• And things kids just don’t need to know about.

Now today I am blogging about the last: Things kids just don’t need to know about.

It’s no secret. Kids can learn to make so much stuff on the internet from drugs to devices and not all of it is legal! Today my son comes out into the living room with his arm pits drenched with white junk and tells me he learned how to stop sweating on the internet. I had to stop. He WHAT?! He found a homemade recipe to stop sweating in his armpits, and he said it was much better than what his deodorant had been doing. He said it’s pretty much stopped his sweating completely.

Before he jumps into the shower, he mixes baking soda and water into a thick paste, rubs it on his pits for 10-15 minutes, rinses it off, and uses regular deodorant for scent factor. This young guy (15 currently) has tried everything and every kind of deodorant. And nothing worked well at all. So, this is really exciting for him, and I could tell how important it was for him to share his new discovery with me.

As a mother, I listened well. But then I laughed. It’s cute! My son had these pasty, thick, dripping wet armpits as he walked around for a bit. And then I see his excitement. I guess if it works, more power to him! (I may try this…Shhhhh!) I did chuckle not to make fun of him, but because I really couldn’t believe what he learned off the internet. Although, I guess it shouldn’t surprise me. While I think about what they could be looking as I monitor our home activity, he simply learned how to prevent his “pit”iful perspiration. And I’m happy for him. I’m also proud. Anytime my kids use things responsibly, I want to make sure I encourage them to continue to do so, because it’s a HUGE part of how I’ve raised them! Yes! Success!

He was so proud of his discovery. It simply was no sweat on the net. And that makes me giggle.

She Flies With Feathers of Peace

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Today has been an amazing day. It has been a day full of miracles. And it has also been a day full of frustration. But nonetheless, I’ll take any day that God can work through, so frustrations are ok, too! A few days ago, two to be exact, I prayed for a specific answer regarding an opportunity that came my way. And in that prayer, I asked God to show me His will by confirming three things with me. I just felt I needed to see these three things in order to discern His blessing, His will, His plan. Why?

Simply because what I am praying over carries HUGE risks!

It’s dangerous. It’s more than what I think I can handle alone. It’s all new to me in my “sheltered” and comfortable  little world. I worry I am not strong enough physically and emotionally. I think I may not know enough. I don’t feel significant enough to make a difference. Should I keep going on and on? Me, me, me, fear, fear, fear! You get the idea. It just seems waaaaay too hard, and I don’t know that I can go the distance.

Did I mention the risk? Every single part of it is risky. Did I mention dangerous? Most of it involves huge safety concerns. It’s expensive, it’s risky, I am afraid and fearful of specific elements and aspects, and of course, I want to know why me!

Two days ago when I prayed about it, I was viewing some photographs a professional photographer had taken in areas of our world that are so hopeless that you can see it in the tears of the children in the captured images of their daily lives. And at that time, I realized that God had raised me up to be a leader:

Nothing more than a woman on a mission and who cares more about reaching those who are lost, hurt, and hopeless than I care about my own fears. And it’s true. That’s what kind of woman that I am. But then that fear sets in. So I prayed again for three things specifically.

Today I went to my mailboxes…one at home and one at the post office near  my training room. I had prayed two days ago specifically for these three things: Protection (of my health, self, and well being-safety), Provision  (to provide the resources and funding I’d need to do what I’ve been raised up and called to do), and Peace (knowing He himself is surrounding me with His protection, mentally, physically, spiritually).

As I checked my mail today and within five minutes of getting from one mail box to the other, these items arrived:

• Insurance documents
• A Leadership Book I had not expected to receive (a most welcomed surprise, because I am a book nerd and LOVE books that help people change their lives!)
• Gift cards, certificates, AND a BIG check!

Of course, I opened each thing up unsuspectingly, but it took mere seconds for me to realize that one, two, three, these were the things I had asked for in my prayer two days prior to today. I stopped. I choked up. And I grew speechless.

I had received everything but peace. But, when I got out of my car after parking in front of my training room at our downtown location, I couldn’t have missed it even if I had tried. There on the ground, right in my path, was a feather that was just there, not blown away with the wind blowing all around. I stooped down, picked it up, and treasured it in my heart. God provided a feather of peace.

**I have to go back in time to explain about the feathers:

In 2007, I gave my first public speech after writing a newsletter article for one of my past employers. It was in that job as an employment specialist that I started coaching individuals. In that season, I started writing newsletter articles. And I wrote one called, “Challenging Everyone To Fly” to encourage them to empower themselves by attending the Caucus. I will write the ending here so you get the jist of it:

“Think of your participation like feathers on a bird. One feather cannot fly alone as there is nto enough ESTEEM in one. But all the feathers combined can ENGAGE to make up the wing. With wings, we can soar to new heights and EMPOWER ourselves. For those who believe in the EMPLOYMENT of individuals with disabilities, I hope to see you there carrying a feather. I’ll provide feathers for those attending. I’m willing to fly. Are you?”

I needed a miracle that day. I had never spoken in front of a group that large. They gave feathers to every participant-ALL 650 of them! I was told the speech I had prepared probably wouldn’t hold their attention. So I did something RISKY. I risked it all by not doing what they thought everyone wanted to hear. Instead, I gave the prepared speech and spoke passionately about what they NEEDED DESPERATELY to hear. And it was a success on so many levels with cheering, tears, and hotel staff stopping to listen and get involved. I stopped at a gas station after to get ready to embark on my trip home, when I heard someone holler out from across the store, “Hey Christine! Whoohoooooooo!”

When I look back, I can see it so clearly! Yes, risk. Yes, success. But not because I did what was safe and conformed to the normal patterns of this world. I took that risk, did what I new in my leaders heart what was RIGHT, and I never regretted it. It changed not only their lives, but IT CHANGED MINE, and the course of my life history. I received my first feather at that conference.

Ever since that moment in time, when I am uncertain, when I need clarity, when I need to feel the presence of God, when I need to pray, when I am blessed, when I least expect it, I will find a simple feather that is where feather’s just sometimes aren’t even found. I can tell you story, after story (I found two in my training room under a poster about God’s grace the first time I walked in here when trying to find an available office space, and others at a grave side while praying for a friend for the loss of his father while the wind was blowing 70 mph  that day…you tell me how that feather was there and survived!), testimony after testimony at how God works in my life today.

But the feathers are not just about how He works in my life. They to me represent how He works in the lives of every single person around me. Every feather He gives me through every trial I endure, every season I grow, every heartache I face, every uncertainty I conquer, every mountain I climb, HE gives me those wings to fly, just as I encouraged everyone else to fly that day. For a woman too afraid to fly on her own, He sure has given me a set of wings over the past three and a half years! And in this season of my life I find myself needing and wanting to trust Him that He will provide the wind those wings need to fly.”Come on Christine, YOU CAN DO IT!” (But don’t you know…”Even Eagles Need A Push!” I love that book, too!) Somebody push me! And I wonder if that is what God is now doing, yet I stand on the edge of the cliff and stare right at Him and wonder…Am I cut out for this? Am I ready now? Oh, how I long to soar yet I am plagued with fear sometimes! But I see the people’s tears, and I know it’s time to dive and let His wind carry the feather’s He’s provided: Provision, Protection, and Peace.

I posted on facebook earlier today: “If God has given me these wings, will He not give me the wind I need to fly?”

Of course I know He will. I’m just afraid to try sometimes. I am afraid of the risk. I am afraid of the uncertainty. I am afraid of the danger. But when I think back to the feather I found today, it takes me back to one of the pieces I prayed for: PEACE. As I look back, I can see He’s been with me all the time. And when I think about the footprints in the sand story where there were only one pair of footprints, because at those hard times of life God carried me…I now think that sometimes in my life there ARE NO FOOTPRINTS in the sand, because HE WAS TEACHING ME TO FLY!!!

THAT IS INCREDIBLE!

When I think about the type of woman that I am, I can’t help but to hope that someday, I will fly like an angel. Not because it’s fun, but because I want to help others learn to fly with the feathers that fall out of my wings from time to time that are there to remind someone else of their life, purpose, gifts, talents, and that they matter, because God made them, and EVERY person matters in the Kingdom of God. I want to fly to help get them there and give them a nudge or another feather to help them gain their confidence just as God has given me (and is still giving me) mine. That is very humbling. And it’s how I see my life and who I am.

Sometimes we just need to give people encouragement, help them, believe in them…one PEACE at a time. And I know that, because I’ve got a collection of feathers and a mighty Father in Heaven who provides them to prove it.

It’s time to fly :)………………………………………………..

 

When The Shoe Fits, The Truth Hurts

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This phrase, “When the shoe fits, the truth hurts” is something I was reflecting upon tonight after yet another really disappointing conversation. That phrase to me means that when the shoe fits, it’s going to hurt, because that shoe is on the foot that is likely kicking your behind. I know some of  you get this:)

I don’t like to use my blog to vent, and that is not what I am doing here. Ok, maybe just a little, but I am going to use myself as an example of exactly what I’m talking about. I am disappointed. To put it frankly, I am MORE than disappointed. I am seriously disappointed. While I won’t go into specifics, I think I can make my point and turn this into a lesson that may save some relationships. And parents-this is really important. (Although, it is important for us ALL…read on and I guarantee we ALL can apply this to our own busy lives.)

See, I hear this ALL the time from various people, and yes, some more than others.

I can’t, because I’m too busy…

I didn’t have time…

Something else came up…

I’ll let you know at the last minute…

I would, but…

I was too tired…

I didn’t plan on, but…

Unexpectedly, I ended up…

Someone came to town at the last minute…

All of these are nothing but the beginnings of an excuse. An excuse is really a “reason” we use to try to justify why another priority took the place of something pretty important. Who was it important to?

Maybe your kids.

Maybe your family.

Maybe your spouse or significant other.

Maybe some other person you care about.

Maybe a friend.

I’m not talking about acquaintances we hang out with. I’m talking about people who are or should be significant in our life. Let’s take parents and kids as our example. Our kids should should have priority over many things (especially when it involves visitation, holidays, etc.). And they should know it. Ok, and some are probably asking, “Aren’t some things that come up legit?” Yes, they are. And I’m not saying that they aren’t. But here’s where you have to be careful in your relationships and life: Excuses come back to kick you in the butt. If you don’t see your kids-they feel unimportant. Priority #? If you don’t spend time with your family, spouse, significant other, or any other person who should feel they are important in your life, they too will begin to feel unimportant. What happens is they start to feel like nothing more than an acquaintance instead of a priority? That is a sure-fire way to destroy anything really quick.

Don’t let your priorities start feeling as though they are becoming your options.

So, if you think you still don’t have time, you’ve got to start thinking differently before it’s too late unless the person(s) truly aren’t important to you. You might be asking how I know all of this? I can answer that in one sentence: I am a single mother, business owner,  ministry leader, community volunteer, and more, and while I can’t do it all, I do have my priorities lined up. The people in my life who are priorities know it, and there is no room for doubt. I manage a business, household, kids, and everything else in between, and I rarely use excuses, because there’s no need to unless our priorities are not set properly. Everyone needs to have their priorities mapped out correctly, so people don’t misinterpret their value. This is very important for adults. So think of how much more important it is for our kids? It’s not hard to show your special people how much you care in little more than a few minutes. How? It’s simple.

As long as I have 60 seconds:

I can make plans with my priorities first, before making plans with others.

I can write a note on a steamed up bathroom mirror to make my kids smile.

I can send a text.

I can make a phone call and say “Hello, you’re important, and I only have one minute to tell you so!”

I can mail a card.

I can order flowers.

I can pick up an extra item at the grocery store that I know is a favorite and stick a bow on it.

I can run through a drive thru window to pick up a goody on my way home.

I can fix a drink unexpectedly and hand it to them.

I can send an email.

I can send a card.

I can draw a silly note on a sticky note and leave it for later or stick it under a pillow.

I can call unexpectedly and make a quick visit.

I can leave something fun that will make them smile on their door step.

I can leave them a sweet voice mail even if I know they can’t take the call.

I can do a thousand other things to show my priorities that they are priorities even when I can’t be there or am running in five thousand different directions. How? It’s not hard. It’s not rocket science. It’s just stopping for 60 seconds, because it’s your priority to make those who you really do care about your priority. One sure way to sabotage anything is to stop doing it or flat out not do it. Kids should always be a priority. Relationships as well. I’m convinced there is time to do SOMETHING in every moment we think we just don’t have time, and doing nothing is the equivalent of just not caring. Doing nothing speaks volumes, yet doing something whispers volumes. One screams negatives and one whispers positives. Which do we think is more important? Which do you think you’d rather hear? That’s all it takes to realize how important that 60 seconds really is.

Just beware. When we do realize this is what’s happened in our relationships at any given point (and we’ve all done it at one point or another-the key is to stop it!) we’re likely to hear the truth. And it’s not going to feel good.

After all, if that shoe fits…

It is going to hurt.

(Just remember: as parents and significant others-it’s likely your children or spouse will feel it also. The sting doesn’t just affect one person.)