Archive for April, 2014
Episode #37 A world without excuses.
“It seems to be a fact of life the human beings cannot continue to do wrong without eventually reaching out for some rationalization to clothe their act.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
Have you ever wondered what a world without excuses and justifications for our actions and inactions would look like? Now think about it this way: What would your life look like without excuses and rationalizations?
Oh, it would be a much better use of our time and energy!
So, if it would be a much better place, why do we resist change and cling to excuses, justification, and rationalization for our behaviors, desires, and decisions?
Several reasons actually:
- Fear is a huge reason we avoid change and create excuses. But at what cost? Clinging to excuses and bad choices prevents us from truly living in freedom by keeping us chained to fear. “I can’t imagine what my life would be like without this (behavior, choice, etc.), because it’s just who I am.”
- Comparison is another biggie. “Everyone else is doing it!” We compare mortality, behaviors, desires, and actions based on what other people are doing. If ours doesn’t look, seem, or feel as bad, we write it off and convince ourselves we could be doing worse…like they are. “Well, at least I didn’t do ________ as often as him/her!” Do you remember your parents giving you the age-old lecture, “If all your friends decided to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you do it, too?” Of course, the answer was always “No”. The truth is, in order to save our lives, sometimes we have to do the opposite of what “everyone” else is doing, and do what we know is moral, ethical, right, and life saving. As we all remember from our teenage years, popularity and peer pressure to follow the crowd can certainly be the disguise to our demise, because we think there is safety in large numbers—even when those large numbers are traveling on dangerous ground.
- Avoidance of the truth keeps us locked in our present situations. We tend to focus and place blame on the result of our choices instead of the actual choices or decisions or actions that led us to the results we find ourselves facing. “I can’t change my ( resulting issue or problem) because my (insert life area/thing of blame) is failing.”
Truthfully, rationalizations mask truth and even allow excuses to feel legitimate even though they may very well be man-made and inappropriate. When this happens the result is always a “stuck” state and an acceptance of what really needs to change. And many times people feel safe in that state, because while it may be a miserable place to be, they know it well and find comfort in the familiar. Change is hard. Change can mean losing friends and family. But surrender to change also means surrender to positive life transformation where the benefits of change outweigh the risks and pain of staying the same.
As long as we continue to turn to justification, we will continue to turn from transformation.
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My questions for you to ponder this week are:
1. What behaviors and habits are you knowingly masking with justifications, rationalizations, and excuses?
2. How will your life areas improve if you stop making excuses and justifying those actions and behaviors and embrace change?
3. What 3 steps can you take in this next week to surrender to change and start your transformation toward truth? (Remember, truth doesn’t tolerate excuses!)
MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?
If I only had 5 seconds to say something life changing to you, it would be:
Do more than just survive: THRIVE!
READ THIS POST: THEN LISTEN TO THE RADIO SHOW BELOW!
Life Management is not an option any longer. It’s an essential life skill. And if you’re not managing your 9 life areas or your time, energy, and resources, you’re likely missing out on a lot of joy in life and are instead dealing with issues that are affecting your overall well-being.
A trending topic I’ve seen lately directly relates to my area of expertise in life management. It seems that articles are coming from voices in many places, and I wanted to share them to emphasize the importance of a well managed life and the skills that makes living one entirely possible.
Arianna Huffington was featured in Fast Company on “The Struggle To Find Work Life Balance” written by Rachel Gillett. She also recently posted on her Google Plus that “The word “stress” in ancient Rome meant “stringere”- “to squeeze tight,” “touch,” or “injure.” Can you feel it?”
The Guardian posted an article titled, “This Article Will Change Your Life: Stop Being Busy!” featured an article written by Oliver Burkeman.
And Fast Company just published “Why You Need To Stop Bragging About How Busy You Are” written by Lisa Evans.
When I read the above articles, I applaud the authors because they totally get it. They nail the issues right on the head! And I think about how much potential there is for life management tools to completely transform the way we live, it reminds me of why I am so passionate about what it is that I do and why that fire inside me fuels me to teach to transform lives with tools and techniques that work for people from all walks of life. (And yes, you do know that I will stand on my head and teach it if that’s what it takes to help people create lives for the better-healthier-and more meaningful.)
Gone are the days of saying yes to everything. Gone are the days of having to have so much in our lives that we don’t have any room left for the self. Gone are the days of burnout, stress, and mental health fatigue. And gone are the days of not knowing what to do about it.
We are a nation of overworked, overstressed, and over-committed people who have accepted “killing thyself busy” as the glorified way of living. We act as if we should get a badge for that, when in reality, we should be seeking a cure.
I’m here to tell you that there is a cure, though it’s no instant or magic”do this one time” cure. It’s a process. And a process that requires your time, attention, and energy to use the tools you need to help you maintain your 9 life areas. You’ll finally live a less is more lifestyle where building your life around your most precious priorities will become your simple joy and what you long to live for. As long as you maintain it, you’ll always be successful in that!
Everything requires maintenance. Think about it: When you want to keep your car performing optimally, you take it to a mechanic for maintenance. Why? It’s likely because you want to take care of it so it will serve you well for years and years to come. Don’t you want your body and mind to do the same? Can life and stress management create lifestyle that allows your body and mind to serve you well for years and years? Absolutely!
And think about transformations when you want to lose weight. Don’t you seek help from a professional so you can make changes in your eating and exercise habits and learn the skills you need to maintain those changes?
The same applies to your life! You need an expert. You need tools and the know how. And you need someone who can challenge you, maintain you, and hold you accountable.
There is no magic bullet or easy, one-time fix. But once you learn these Life Management tools, put them into action, and keep them in action, you’ll experience a lifetime of difference one life area and one precious priority at a time.
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See all episodes here.
Who controls your time and energy?
I hope you said, “Me! The same person who controls and sets my life priorities!”
But if not, you’re not alone.
In coaching, a common scenario is to coach people who have unknowingly allowed outsiders determine what goes on their personal calendar as a commitments or obligation while their own unique desires and needs fall by the wayside. When everyone else’s priorities are finished, they might or might not have the time or energy to enjoy their own.
Another is listening to people who feel they are taken advantage of, out of time and energy, but they still don’t take action to protect their treasured life priorities by creating and enforcing appropriate boundaries. They get caught up in being people pleasers, and live a life that pleases everyone but themselves. Soon, they feel stuck, depressed, unsatisfied, and frustrated.
Why? They are afraid of saying NO. And those who take advantage of it know it! They get manipulated into saying yes and using their time and energy to meet the demands of other people’s lives and their priorities having little to none left for themselves.
Over time, it creates issues in relationships and and careers. It can dampen dreams. It can literally spiral into a wasted life, wasted potential, and wasted talent. Going further, it can even waste away emotional, mental, and physical health and lead people to burnout. Thankfully, there is hope! And help!
Life Management is your key to reversing these effects and negative outcomes and putting you on the track to reclaiming the life you desire based upon your life priorities!
Shout it with me: WHOOHOOOOO!
So, I want to ask you….who have you given control of your time and energy to?
And are you willing to prioritize our life, create an action plan, and take it back?
Your 9 life areas depend on it!
Good Advice? Not so?
What do you do with advice you received from some sounds good on the surface, but soon discover that it just doesn’t fit you? Not all advice you get is beneficial. It may not fit you, your business, your life, your faith, your vision, or your mission. So, what do you do with advice that doesn’t fit? Listen now to find out!
What kind of advice have you received that just didn’t fit you?
What are your experiences?
This episode is no longer available.
We’re going to be changing a few things with our radio and video formats.
Celebrate with us as we anticipate what this means to our future and the coaching you will receive!
This is truly going to be great!