Archive for October, 2014

The Gift of Gab! Episode #62 Can Your Surrender Stress To The Moment?

You’ve been there.

Something unexpected happens and everything starts to unravel.

The day gets worse. The week just snowballs out of control. You’re frustrated and you’re stressed. But, do you have to be? Can you surrender what is and let go to get back on track and regain your focus?

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If your focus is continually on the negative moments in life and things in your past that have already gone wrong, you start plugging in all the wrong pieces until what’s wrong becomes the reality that you’re now living in.

Listen now and learn how you can surrender the stress and negative to the moments they belong in and move on in your life to crack open a few new eggs of opportunity.

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Grow Up, America! Change Is Only Possible When We Are Responsible.

Believe it or not . . .

This started out as a tweet, but it was a little too many characters. So, I started pecking away to make it a Facebook status. Guess what? It grew, and here it is as a blog post.

I hope you find it encouraging and share it. Change is only possible when we are responsible. Enjoy!

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The issue: As a Life Management Coach, and someone helping people change their lives for the better in this “land of opportunity,” I just don’t understand how placing blame on people’s circumstances and bad choices helps anyone. Society favors placing blame in order to help people avoid consequences for their bad choices. Pointing fingers, placing blame, and whining over unfairness of the results has become more popular than people simply accepting responsibility for making bad (and sometimes really stupid) choices when they are fully aware of right and wrong and the outcomes they will bring. Behaviors are not changed and lessons are not learned when people are constantly coddled. Pacifying was for infants, and we’re no longer infants. We’re adults, and adults are capable of learning some tough stuff.

Are you ready? Let’s dig in.

People, if you know it’s wrong but do it anyway, you have agreed to a known set of risks that will bring your current consequences. How can that be a surprise? Consequences aren’t usually mysterious things that appear unfairly. You know it, you choose to do it, so you endure what results from it. Who’s to blame? Do we really need to ask that when talking about the results of personal actions? We’re all mature here, aren’t we?

So, let’s talk for a moment about tough love. This is why we must use it when it involves correcting people in their chosen (and often repeated) mistakes. Finding excuses and pointing fingers doesn’t change behaviors and won’t help people in the long run. It will actually harm them (and possibly negatively affect others who do make the right choices) if they are allowed to continually make dumb decisions and get off without consequence.

It is not harsh (this is worth repeating: IT IS NOT HARSH) to allow people to experience consequences are the result of their choices. There is no one to blame for choices made and actions taken but the one who made the choice aware of the right and wrong behind it, and then ultimately decided to carry out the actions. Essentially, the action chosen brings about the results experienced so often in life. We’re not ever going to be perfect people, but we can be people growing in our willingness to learn from mistakes while accepting consequences that serve as one of our greatest life teachers.

As your coach, I want to summarize it simply and that means no sugar coating. Remember, even sugar coated cereal is not healthy for you as a grown up. Heck, it’s not even good for kids, so let’s raise them right, too. This applies to everyone of us: Blame is really a lack of accountability resulting from the immaturity within an individual to acknowledge and accept personal responsibility for their choices and actions.

Isn’t it time we grow up, America?

Your challenge:
Grown ups first. You work on your accountability and place less blame for your choices in life. You’re not stuck without options. You have the opportunity to work through the consequences and get things straightened out. And, as you straighten your life out, you then will be in a position to teach your children the same by modeling and living your accountable life out. Create some boundaries and accountability in your home. For you. For them. It will change everything IF you stick to living it out.

Focus on hope: The message is pretty clear. WE CAN DO THIS, FOLKS. We have a choice and that choice will mold and shape our future. We will live the consequences of either taking the right actions or not, and we’ll have no one to blame but the self and the choices we chose to make.

The vision: We can become a nation of people, with mature backbones, ready and able to stand and lead with strong personal accountability as an essential for citizens instead of just something we merely hope and wish for as if it’s unattainable.

Isn’t it time we become a nation that embraces building a future full of people with strong character and morals who stand unafraid to fight for what’s right and honorable instead of pointing the finger? Finger pointing fixes nothing. Lack of accountability looks for sneaky ways to scatter fault everywhere by sweeping any wrongdoing under a rug instead of simply absorbing it to do something productive for the benefit of the future. We must understand that personal responsibility doesn’t need to find fault, because it’s too busy solving problems and looking for solutions instead of someone to blame.

The solution: Solutions require action, so let’s take accountability seriously and start fixing what’s broken in our lives. And instead of looking at everyone else to find fault (our politicians, neighbors, friends), let’s start with the self. This means you’ll have to start with you. Yes, I’m encouraging you to make changes in your own life and in your own home. Great changes in your life start with great changes made first in your home.

Think and plan: How does accountability look in your life? What characteristics do you model? How strong and mature are you? Do you acknowledge your consequences and mistakes? Are you working through them or remaining stuck by blaming others? What about others living in your home? Are there appropriate boundaries and consequences for choices made? Are there basic expectations and rules that must be followed? Do YOU follow through? Do others? Consider what are you’re teaching those around you about choices and their choosing right from wrong knowing that consequences are the result of their choices? Is it sugar coated or are you teaching and living with necessary tough love?

The result: When we become accountable, we can teach and lead others to do the same: at home, at work, in community, in our nation. This is a positive result that stems from right choice that we have the power to make TODAY. Making this choice will no-doubt affect and change the lives of many generations to come.

I don’t know about you, but that’s important to me. It’s important to my children. It will be important for their children and their children’s children. And, this is precisely why it must be important to every citizen that we as Americans start making the right, good, and morally sound choices today. There will be consequences we face tomorrow because of the choices human beings are making today. Are we going to continue to point the finger and simply place blame while allowing blame to continue while the world we live in continues to decline? Or, will be boldly rise to become a nation of high standards and accountability, one citizen and family at a time, to change the outcome of the future America?

Choose wisely . . .

And take action.

 

To learn more about how life management can help you take control over your life, time, and priorities, click here now!

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Truth Demands Scrutiny

“Truth demands scrutiny while error begs for tolerance.” – Ian Juby

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The Gift of Gab! Episode #61 Avoiding The Damage Discouragement Causes

Discouragement can derail the best people and plans.

Encouragement can change that.

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Have you ever needed encouragement to stay focused, remain on target, and renew your motivation? We all have.

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Encouragement is not optional. It’s necessary for long-term effectiveness and great outcomes. In fact, the lack of encouragement results in discouragement. And discouragement can quickly cause damage to lives, businesses, and organizational missions if not dealt with quickly.

Listen in now to learn more about the damaging effects of discouragement and learn how you can help avoid causing them.

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Get your Life and Stress Management coaching and training here

Would you like to listen to another episode? Find all the shows in the show archives here.

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The Gift of Gab! Episode #60 The Passionate Embrace Of Life

FOUR WORDS:

  1. Passion
  2. Embrace
  3. Enthusiastically
  4. Willingness

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These are the four words we look at and unpack in this segment on living passionately while embracing life.

Living passionately means discovering things in your life areas by embracing the experiences found in each. To live passionately means taking small risks. And, we know that small risks taken daily become great hurdles overcome. The richest treasures in your life are the experiences you carry with you, and you have to be passionate about discovering what those experiences are. If you stop risking, you stop discovering. And if you stop discovering, you stop embracing. When you stop embracing, passion for anything becomes less and less. But, life does not need to be lived this way!

Listen now to discover, embrace, and reclaim your life and your life with passion.

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The Gift of Gab! Episode #59 On Criticism: No One Ever Kicks A Dead Dog.

You’ll be damned if you do. And damned if you don’t. 

It’s not a matter of if you’ll be criticized, because you will be.

Unless you live your life doing nothing.

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If you’re living, breathing, working, living, changing the world, or simply striving to rise above the status quo, you will be criticized by others. Criticism comes from facts, opinions, prejudices, and can be unfair, but you can overcome them and move forward by remembering a few important things to prepare yourself to handle it when it comes.

 

Listen to this episode to find out what they are!

Remember, no one kicks a dead dog. And, that criticism can actually be a compliment in disguise. It means YOU are doing something.

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