Someone Spiked My Lunch With Passion!

Image by SoulSoap via Flickr

Today was the annual cookout at the elementary school my daughter attends. It’s her final year of elementary before she moves to middle school, and I didn’t want to miss it. I eagerly anticipated the lunch hour and when it was time, I headed toward that part of town in anticipation of some great conversation and fun. But, when we got our standard school issue burgers and beans (no, they were pretty good), I headed over to the table of sixth grade girls and squeezed myself on the small bench beside them.

As we began to eat, I found myself listening more than talking. And the conversation was appalling to say the least. Some of the things that were being discussed just had no business being part of a sixth grade life. After all, they are still kids. And as I listened to the stories, boy and girl issues, picking and teasing, blatant parental defiance and sometimes just plain meanness, I found myself becoming more and more agitated. I kept wondering why the girls were being allowed to do some of the things they did and talked about, yet not one adult was willing to step in and advise the girls of the improper behaviors. It was hard for me to imagine letting my daughter participate. But truly, the icing on the cake was the talk about how uncool it was for my daughter to have her mother at lunch, because they all stopped doing it in the second grade.Really? I don’t remember getting a memo from my kids stating that at 8 years old they no longer needed a parent. And if I would have, I certainly would not have agreed to it under any circumstances. Personally, the fact that my kids don’t like the rules and boundaries I set tells me that I am doing my job regardless of them liking it. And I don’t plan on changing that any time soon–even for my almost 18 year old. I. Am. The. Parent. Whew, ok, so my buttons got pushed a bit. Deeeeep breath:)

Some of the biggest issues I could see right away:

Unlimited and unsupervised cell phone usage. Who monitors what they are doing, saying, and seeing? I was shocked.

Television and internet without supervision. I heard about things I don’t even participate in, because of their inappropriateness.

Judgmental attitudes. They tore everyone and everything apart that crossed their paths that didn’t fit their standard of coolness.

The longer I listened, the more disheartened I became. The list could go on and on! I “gently” but without hesitation made some comments about learning to see past someone’s flaws, because it’s what’s underneath that counts-that’s the true substance of a person, but I think it was largely ignored. And I could see it was making my daughter uncomfortable at the same time. It was a tough situation, so I spoke to my daughter, focused on her, and told her we’d get a drink after school. That will give me time to spend with her as her parent so we can talk about how to handle this best. And besides, I want to be the one to teach her, not merely influence her.

When I left and drove home, I found myself becoming more and more frustrated. I wanted to fix it. I was really upset and to the point that I couldn’t even voice it. These are our teenagers. They are our future leaders. They are your kids and mine. And my heart was breaking greatly. Again, it was something so deep inside of me that I can’t even begin to figure out where it’s kept. But, I had no words. I had no way to describe it. I couldn’t even begin to put it into an emotion other than a great distress deep within. But it was there, it was deep, and all I could do was just feel like I was screaming inside and supressing some amazingly big tears.

I wanted (and still want) to fix it. I don’t even understand this passion. Me? Why? How? But, I have to do something. I will move mountains to do something. I do know that much. And I know that when this happens, God completely understands. After all, He knows me. All of me. So, I began to pray about it. I checked my email and responded to an inquiry about my Hope in Hutchinson page on Facebook. And as I explained the life management training, leadership development, and the community building initiatives I have continue to build, I began to understand what I was experiencing.

My  mind was flooded with thoughts of Nehemiah.

Nehemiah 1 (New International Version, ©2011)

Nehemiah 1

Nehemiah’s Prayer

 ¹The words of Nehemiah son of Hakaliah:

   In the month of Kislev in the twentieth year, while I was in the citadel of Susa, ² Hanani, one of my brothers, came from Judah with some other men, and I questioned them about the Jewish remnant that had survived the exile, and also about Jerusalem.

 ³ They said to me, “Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.”

 ⁴ When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven. ⁵ Then I said:

   “LORD, the God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and keep his commandments, ⁶ let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel. I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father’s family, have committed against you. ⁷ We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses.

 ⁸ “Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations, ⁹ but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.’

 ¹⁰ “They are your servants and your people, whom you redeemed by your great strength and your mighty hand. ¹¹ Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man.”

 I was cupbearer to the king.

Nehemiah was deeply bothered. And I can SO relate to that! I can’t explain it. But I can read this in verse 4  “⁴ When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven. ^5, ” I know it must be similar to how Nehemiah felt when Jerusalem’s walls lied in ruin. It was a community in desperate need! It’s people desperately needed a restored community.

When I sat in lunch today, when I heard the destruction taking place in our young people’s lives, and when I responded to an inquiry about a community being changed from the inside out through it’s own people, I realized that the reason I felt so passionately about it and began to mourn and again realize the importance of rebuilding it through reinforcing the residents and preparing them to get involved and change one thing at a time for the benefit of others, I knew without a doubt that I was having what I call a “Nehemiah moment.” And in that moment, God reminded me that I cannot restore it all by myself. My passion, mission, and calling is to mobilize the masses through the training and coaching that I do to show everyone how to put action behind their passions to live on purpose. We live, work, and play as a community.

I think the lesson behind today’s events at lunch was to remind me of this as I train and build leaders to take action:

You’re never too old to make a difference in your community. And your never too young to be shown how to make that difference.

My spirit is burning bright and my passion to live on purpose hotter than ever. Turns out, it was a great lunch.

Look out Jerusalem. Hutchinson has got some walls to rebuild.